Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine, and at last, you create what you will.
- George Bernard Shaw
Part 1: Imagine
I remember thinking it might be a difficult adjustment for you but I didn't doubt you, only an idiot would do that. I thought you would adjust well after you got settled in. I was a bit surprised though. I never really thought you would gravitate toward teaching.
Cory, friend
I had no doubt you could do it!!! You just didn't know it yet!
Mrs. Farris, teacher
I was a little surprised; but ultimately VERY proud!!! <3
Aunt Eileen
Grandma Roxie
Why I figured you’d do good. I didn’t think you’d like the younger kids. I thought you’d be teaching college kids one day.
Grandpa Kenny
Oh, I just imagined you’d be a good teacher. You’re a very studious and sincere person. I never had any doubts in you whatsoever.
Before MTC, I wouldn’t have used ‘persistent’ to describe myself. Being an honors student meant I handled numerous academic challenges and maintaining a 4.0 in high school does take hard work. But persistence? I didn’t know about that. Because I was also the student in college that dropped a class early in the semester if my first set of grades were low and could hurt my GPA. That just didn’t seem like the behavior of someone with perseverance. Although I did not consider this a key personality trait I possessed, teachers must be persistent in order to survive and thrive.
From the day I applied to the MTC to my first day of summer school and beyond, I had my doubts about teaching and whether or not I was cut out for it. Ellen DeGeneres once said, “Sometimes you can't see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.” So I asked my family and friends for their input.
When you learned I was going to be a teacher, what did you imagine would happen?
I was worried you wouldn’t like it. Not because you would be a bad teacher. Just that you wouldn’t like the grade level or dealing with difficult kids.
Kim, friend
I can answer that with no problem at all! I thought every student who got you for a teacher would be super lucky. Whatever you do in life, you do it to the best of your ability. And I knew they would benefit from having you as a teacher because you would do everything you could to teach them something.
MaMa Rose
Hmmm...I imagined you would be found hiding in the teachers’ lounge reading a book...avoiding all the chaos!!
But seriously....we were very excited that you were going to share your love of learning with others, in an area where that foundation is often lacking. You knew the path would be tough, and took on the challenge without hesitation. Your strength has impressed me and I know you can handle anything that comes your way. Love you!!
Julie, mother
When I imagined myself as teacher, it was with little understanding of how difficult the job could be. I imagined myself to be a lot more outgoing and silly and engaging. I saw us having Book Throwing Moments (or BTMs, as introduced to me by my high school English teacher, Mr. Williams) when characters made us mad or inspiring my students to write thoughtful journals, essays, and stories. In this imagining, I was a phenomenal teacher, naturally good at what I did and completely at ease in the classroom.
If my first imagining was overly optimistic, my second was overly pessimistic. (It was also the one I also figured more likely to happen.) I didn’t feel my personality was a good fit for teaching. I hated confrontation. Being in charge of other people caused me great anxiety. I imagined several nightmarish scenarios: students fighting in my classroom or harassing me, not having anything planned for the next day, parents marching up to the school angry over something I had taught, losing control of my classroom, not having any school supplies, or failing to get the students to learn anything. This list lengthed during my first year as I learned firsthand the many challenges of teaching. Could I really do this job? Or would I be hanging on by a thread as I watched the world burn around me? I didn't consider myself a persistent person, so I thought there was a good chance I would quit before the two year mark.
The reality of teaching ended up being in between the two extremes. I lacked charisma, but my students found my puns, clumsiness, and commitment to their education endearing. I did not inspire my students in dramatic ways, like you might see in movies, but I pushed them to work hard everyday. I was not a perfect teacher (and I’m still not), but I showed up to school, I tried to improve, and I didn’t give up.